We Will Fight (Continued)2009
I kick the goat hard with my foot between the horns this seems to excite him as it comes for more kicks. Standing on its back feet to gather some impetus the goat aims at me repeatedly with his horns. As a punching bag I lend him my foot each time he performs an attack. I am trapped I dont know how to get downstairs and make the 60 meters to my room. I opt to wait and see if the goat gets bored. 15 minutes 30 minutes the goat still there attacking, no one around to ask for help, cold.
I need to conquer my FEAR but this time not against a future event or an abstract possibility of being injured this time it is terribly immediate. I move downstairs, the goat follows me maintaining a small distance probably for FEAR that I will grab him by the horns. He is always one meter behind kicking me in my butt repeatedly I have to stay close in a sort of if you cannot beat them join them attitude for FEAR to lose my beloved behind entirely if the animal were to pick up enough attack speed. I manage to enter the dormitory and close the door behind me. I put on my head flashlight I open a pack of salted biscuits open the door and feed the biscuits to the goat that eats happily. This buys me the time to grab the beast by the horns and drag it all the way to the office of the priests assistant, pleading him to luck it up. My plead is refuses on the grounds that the animal is harmless. I am thinking the Tinku is all around this town it is in the people as well as the animals. I couldnt help noticing that the towns free roaming dogs have a very malicious look and stare at you more than is comfortable. Later in the evening I decide to move to a hostel on the other side of the square, the idea of having to conquer my FEAR each time I want to move out of the room is very unappealing. Plus there is nobody around to notice the act of bravery and therefore no social reward no improved social standing. To conquer FEAR and risk should always be connected with huge social rewards or at least the lesser form of monetary compensation. The sort of social admiration and standing I imagine the Tinku participants will receive after winning a fight, or losing one for that matter I imagine that to be rewarding as well in terms of improved social standing otherwise I cannot imagine anyone risking his life. The hostel that Don Diogenes runs with his wife is almost empty, I am three days early.